why not come and say hi

hair

      

um

i was thinking about my face yesterday. i was talking about it with matt. i said i always felt a particular way about it, or my body. i don’t feel feminine, or masculine. i don’t think i’m androgynous, i don’t look like a man or a woman at the same time. i feel like i look or am neutral. just neutral. if you saw my normal face maybe you would know?

one of my eyes is smaller than the other at the moment because i have conjunctivitis. i woke up today and my right eye was glued shut with yellow goo. i grossed myself out guys

making is thinking

dioni said “making is thinking”

i’m sick and tired today (both separately)

and lagging behind as usual

 

 

 

2

romance

i went to poppy malik’s opening at CCAS in manuka last night and it was fab. if you didn’t go then you missed out on a one time offer. (although the exhibit is open till 15th) there was an enormous pinata filled with treats and priceless gems, hot chips, nice friends and a selection of fine works to see. i was speaking about the space and works with lisa t and she said it felt so light, like you were floating in the sky, all gold and soft, or something like that.

“to compare is to despair.” when you idealise Romance and all the delicious/delirious sweetness and sourness that is embedded in that idea, it’s not helpful. i guess things are only bad if you think they are bad. a thought is real and will make whatever you are thinking a reality. so don’t think it then. it’s difficult to keep an equilibrium and not get over excited when you feel like you’re really getting somewhere. especially hard to keep calm about it and not to crow about it and try to preach to everyone. i feel down today. i’m keeping my promise of a drawing a day. you know i haven’t really made any drawings this year until now. that’s the sorry state of affairs righthere rightnow

 

 

choose, pick

gosia said “are you drawing vaginas? sometimes i find myself drawing a vagina. i guess it’s just one of those things, right”

busy

First day of spring, i really felt like a having a relaxing day, going for a walk e t c but…busy! Not busy procrastinating either. I saw my psychologist again and I think it will the last time i’ll see her/one for a while, or ever. I’m in the middle of making an image for the Anti-sexual Violence Campaign happening in canberra in october. It’s difficult because there’s a lot of things i need to be conscious of and sensitive with but it’s getting there. Keep a look out for an avantcard soon. Excite!  I have ideas for some public work that have been wallowing around for a while but i’m going to get some done. Firstly some knitted bombing, is that what you call it? and then painting with wall paint.

I’m reading a book called Little Black Book of Stories by AS Byatt, I like the story i’m reading now the most, it’s about a woman that is slowly crystalising, or petrifying from the outside in.

Tomorrow i feel like wearing thick lipstick. fuck this laptop is slow!

ready

For a while i was planning to turn this blog into my place on the internet. So now i’m doing that. I am going to use this place to talk about things, as well as an instrument to help me make artwork a part of everyday. It’s easy to separate things, fragmentation is something that is important to be aware of. This year has been important in knowing more intimately what is it that is the source of feeling uncomfortable and stuck and anxious. I have things to say about this. Being perfectly open, honest, without any self-consciousness is something to strive for, and so this space will be a place i will say what i think and feel and do, and so will flow to how i will be in relationships face to face. What is there to be frightened of anyway, if you really realise that you have nothing to protect? Today is a beautiful day and i will not expect anything. i hope you’re good

 

“Looking back, of course, is equally fatal to Art.”
-Katherine Mansfield, Je Ne Parle Pas Francais